FIGHT OR FLIGHT T-SHIRT

A penguin that picked a side. Flightless, sure, but not defenseless — this one read the room, skipped the existential spiral, and grabbed a knife. The caption says it was never made for flight, which is a polite way of saying it is staying right here and you should reconsider your approach.

• Soft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size
• Screen-printed in the USA with premium ink
• Machine wash cold, tumble dry low

For everyone whose nervous system only came with the one setting.