SQUISHABLE ALTER EGO MIMIC TREE

Hey bro, I found the perfect tree! It's got a great smell, nice full branches, and that perfect pine color! And its arms are just the right length- you know how I feel about good arms on a tree! And those sharp pointy teeth, they're just like the teeth we had on Christmas trees growing up! And it's making that classic Christmas tree chewing noise! Bro? Where'd ya go?